Crankbot gripping the gold crankCRANK
ROUND 1
GRAB THE HANDLE!
YOUR PULLS0
CRANK LEVEL0 RPM
THE CHART IS ON THE STOOL. NOBODY'S CRANKING.

TONIGHT · MAIN EVENT · THE LEVER DOES NOT NEGOTIATE

TALE OF THE TAPE

Crankbot, the dented chrome boxing robot

CRANKBOT

FROM
The AI Fight Club floor
KNUCKLES
Dented. Never polished.
STYLE
Quit punching. Grabbed a crank.
FACE
Grinning through the sparks
The gold crank mid-pull, throwing sparks

THE CRANK

FROM
Ripped off the ring post
FINISH
Gold. Battle-worn. Dented.
SOUND
CLANK! Every. Single. Pull.
WEAKNESS
Can't stop once it's grabbed

HOUSE RULES OF THE CRANK

  1. ONE FULL TURN = ONE PULL. Half-turns don't count. The ref is watching. ⚙️
  2. FASTER CRANK, BIGGER CANDLE. Spin it like the bell just rang.
  3. STOP CRANKING AND IT SAGS. The chart hates a quiet corner.
  4. TEN PULLS IS A KNOCKOUT. Then the bell. Then the next round. It never ends. 🔥
  5. WRONG WAY? THE REF SEES IT. Clockwise cranks the chart. Backwards gets you booed.
  6. EVERY PULL SCREAMS CLANK! That's the rule $CLANK's bots taught us between rounds.